Butterfly Hug

How the butterfly hug works

The butterfly hug is a self-administered bilateral stimulation technique — a simple physical pattern of alternating taps on your own shoulders. The exercise was developed by Mexican psychologist Lucina Artigas in 1998 while working with survivors of Hurricane Pauline, as a way for people to use bilateral self-soothing on their own, between or after professional sessions. It has since been adopted widely in trauma-informed care as a self-soothing technique inspired by EMDR practice.

The mechanism most therapists describe is dual attention: the alternating left–right taps gently occupy the parts of the brain involved in tracking sensory input, while you stay aware of how you feel. The butterfly tapping technique is closely related to bilateral protocols used in trauma-informed therapy, but here it is repurposed as a self-soothing tool you can use without a clinician. Many people find that distressing thoughts and feelings lose some of their intensity within a couple of minutes of butterfly tapping for anxiety — the same way moving while distressed often takes some of the edge off.

How to do the butterfly hug step by step

1. Sit or stand comfortably, in a place where you feel safe. Take one slow breath in and out.
2. Cross your arms over your chest, with your hands resting on the opposite shoulders or upper arms — left hand on right shoulder, right hand on left shoulder. Your fingers can be relaxed or curled gently.
3. Tap your shoulders one at a time, alternating left and right at a steady, gentle pace. Pick a rhythm that feels natural — usually around one tap per second.
4. Breathe normally. You don't need to control the breath. Notice whatever you feel in your body, without trying to change it.
5. Continue for 1–3 minutes. Stop when you feel calmer, more grounded, or simply ready to move on with your day.

If your eyes feel comfortable closed, that's fine. If keeping them open helps, that's fine too. There is no "correct" way to feel during a butterfly hug — only paying attention to what's actually happening in your body.

Butterfly hug for anxiety

Butterfly tapping for anxiety has become one of the most-shared self-help techniques in trauma-informed circles for a reason: it's quick, requires nothing but your own hands, and can be done discreetly in semi-private spaces — a parked car, a bathroom stall, a quiet corner, or your own bed. People use the butterfly hug method for anxiety to take the edge off in moments of acute distress, after triggering conversations, during panic-attack onset, or before stressful events like a difficult phone call.

It does not "process" trauma the way structured EMDR therapy might (which requires a trained clinician). It is a self-soothing pattern — closer in spirit to rocking, holding a weighted blanket, or being hugged — that uses bilateral stimulation to help your nervous system settle. For acute panic that overlaps with hyperventilation, you may want to pair this with the physiological sigh or a few minutes of diaphragmatic breathing.

Butterfly hug benefits

People who use this technique regularly often report the following butterfly hug benefits and butterfly hug method benefits:

• Eases acute anxiety, panic-onset, and waves of overwhelm
• Helps after triggering or upsetting conversations
• Offers a "self-hug" experience for moments of loneliness or distress
• Doable in any semi-private spot — a parked car, a bathroom stall, your own room
• Pairs naturally with breathing techniques and grounding exercises
• Gives a portable, predictable rhythm that the nervous system can latch onto
• From a butterfly hug method psychology perspective, it engages dual attention without requiring eye-movement equipment or another person

When to use the butterfly hug

The butterfly hug technique works best as a short, on-demand reset rather than a daily practice. Common moments to reach for it:

• When you feel a wave of anxiety building and want to stay with yourself
• After a difficult conversation, criticism, or conflict
• During the early signs of a panic attack — before it escalates
• Before a stressful event (presentation, medical appointment, difficult call)
• When you wake up in the middle of the night with a racing mind
• To help children settle (a child can do the butterfly hug on themselves with a parent's quiet presence)

For a free butterfly hug handout you can save or print, use the download link above.